The Not-So Intelligant Author Bob Shelley
OK, everybody. I will not- and I repeat- will not finish the book chapters all in one blog post. This dude Bob Shelley is trying to make the "Bigfoot Hoax" idea as real as possible. Yeah, whatevs, Bobby! Me and my fans both know the truth, so you can't influence us.
ANYway, let us begin. We'll start with the first chapter, entitled...
THE $1,000,000 BIGFOOT HOAX EXPOSED!
The first evidence of the existence of the elusive Bigfoot creature, was a one- minute-long clip of 16mm color film that purported to show a Bigfoot loping through the woods near Bluff Creek in the Six Rivers National Forest of Northern California. (WRONG!!! The first piece of evidence was a encounter recorded by a man named Leif Ericson. Oh, and by the way... HE WAS A VIKING!!!!! Geez! Study your Bigfoot history!) The film was shot by an ex-rodeo cowboy from Yakima, Washington by the name of Roger Patterson.
The filmed evidence of what would be the first sighting of a Sasquatch (I know I already said it, but I'm just going to say it again... WRONG!!!) grabbed the American imagination overnight and soon the short film footage, was seen everywhere- in newspapers, on televison, in books, and in presentations by the man who shot the film as well as a broad release to movie theaters across the country and around the world. It became so popular, that it inspired full length movies (e.g. Harry and the Hendersons) (GREAT movie, by the way.) and documentaries on respected televison channels, including Discovery and History.
Now here's the story behind the story: A few months before the film was shot, Philip Morris, owner of Morris Costumes in Charolette, North Carolina sold Roger Patterson a realistic gorilla costume (Did you read that? Gorilla costume. Gorilla costume! Not Bigfoot, Gorilla! Who ever heard of a six foot tall gorilla?!) that magicians often employed for an illusion that made it possible to transform a girl into a gorilla (actually someone in a gorilla costume). Morris is a businessman of sterling reputation and the keeper of many secrets for the magicians to whom he has been providing props for illusions for decades. Among entertainers, he is truly a legend in his own right.
According to Morris, "Back in 1967, I recieved a call from a man named Roger Patterson, who had seen my advertising in Amusement Business, a magazine for the outdoor attractions industry. I had never heard of or met the man. He said he had a few questions about our suit that then sold for $435.00. I asked Patterson if he was a carnival magician and if he had a Girl to Gorilla show, because I figured that's why he called me. But he said no, he was a rodeo cowboy, (If you look at paragraph one, the text says the film was shot by an ex-rodeo cowboy.) and he just wanted the suit for a joke he was playing. He asked if the suit looked real. I told him it looked like a real Hollywood gorilla. He said, 'Tell you what, you send me a suit, and if I like it, I will send the suit back.' That's when I said, 'I have a better idea. You send me the money, and I'll send you the suit. If you don't like it, send it back and I will send your check back.'
Cliff hangar! You will have to wait for my next blog post to read what happens next. Bye for now, Bigfooters!
